I should write a book

I think I should write a book. Or at the very least, a short story. Something a little different…Something spectacular. Maybe of the Steven Speilberg variety. You know, something that people will make movies out of and will be the next Star Wars.

But I’m at a loss. It’s Holi, the Indian festival of color’s and radiance and the people under my building are playing really REALLY crappy Bollywood music that is not letting the Brain Juice flow.

I just came came up with that term. Brain Juice. Not bad….will make for a decent band name. Nevertheless, that’s off topic.

So the book….yes. How about mythological? You know…with swords and bow ‘n arrows and fat guys chantings mantras  so that their arrows turn into f***ing cobras and flaming fireballs on the way. Imagine if one of them looked or scratched themselves down south while chanting the mantra. How would it be to have a Cobra instead of a wang?    Imagine he’s in bed with his wife…”Look baby ! Hisss…AAAHHH !”.

Yeah. That’ll be weird. But again. The Book.

How about time travel or underwater adventures or weird stories with big, creepy blue versions of you running around with funny hairstyles. Even the make out wasn’t fun to watch because well….they were aliens. Even if they were you. Bleh

Ok I’m sorry…I truly loved Avatar. A brilliant combination of story and special effects. Actually…when you think about it, the story was so-so. But the effects killed it.

Again off topic. Should stop doing that.

But I want my book to be like that. A kick ass story and a movie with awesome special effects.

How about magic? Everyone loves magic. Something along the lines of Harry Potter perhaps? Here’s something I came across:

“Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book
Let’s see the results…

“Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.
“Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything.

AND

“Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?”

AND

“The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped – it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.”

For more funny quotes, Click Here

So yeah… I don’t want that.

Wait…I got it !

Superheroes !

Guy’s with powers and a dark past and wielding awesome weapons (not the convert wang to flaming yoyo thing) and killing and being brave but as the book progresses a morbid, dark plot unfolds. Not the typical “And so he saved the day”. Nah…something more along the lines off ~ “And he stood there..little pieces of his enemies flesh raining down on him, his blade still shining in the moonlight and he saved the day.”

Yep. That’ll do it.

So I have a book. I have a background. I have the characters. I just need one more thing. The story.

This should be good.

But wait…I’m forgetting something…

Aah yes…the name.

I shall call it…The Elementals.

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